that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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