Pregnant stripper...not hot.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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