i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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