Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
