Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
