I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
