You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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