i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ugly people sure do ruin things
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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