you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I will pee on everything he values.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The power of my boobs compel you
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
