whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
