similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
