your room smells of hookers.
And success
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
