none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
