I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
