Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
