I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
