Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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