dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
