O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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