what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
