Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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