She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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