he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
