so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You may now shotgun with the bride
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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