i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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