fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
