High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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