that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
