someone threw a dead crab at me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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