THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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