Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
