My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
