i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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