So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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