i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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