Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
