ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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