so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
