there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
