I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
