found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
