You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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