I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
