Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
