Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize