dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
