Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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