Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
