Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
