I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize